Work Frustration...how to not eat!

I have been with the same company for 6 years now.  I love my job (customer service, order entry, quotes, warranty renewals and many other hats).  It is a small company so team work is essential.  Most days despite some micromanaging it goes pretty smooth and seems to be a really good fit for me with my lifestyle now.  Some days however - it doesn't seem that I can do anything right.  I come in early quite frequently to take care of things before the phones come on.  My counterpart here comes in an hour to an hour and a half later then I do.  This should balance out well, I can take care of the early am requests before we turn on the phones, and she takes care of the evening requests.  Now it appears my dedication is being questioned because she stayed late last night and I didn't stay as late as she did.  Still 45 minutes but guess not enough. 

I'm so frustrated.  I consider myself a team player and try to pitch in and help whoever needs it while still getting my own stuff done.  Doesn't seem like that is recognized either.  I just feel like no matter how much effort I do, how hard I try - I will be thought lacking.  Tough pill to swallow.  Unfortunately I don't feel comfortable calling my boss  out on it. 

This frustration is really driving me down the want to eat junk food that I shouldn't have in any way shape or form.  I am figthing this battle and wondering if I am struggling so much because it is something I can at least control.  Any suggestions for the best way to keep your stress eating down when situations arise.  I know I will figth these for ever and figured now if as good a time as any to start. 

I Have contemplated looking for another job, but can't imagine leaving here and starting a new....  I guess ultimately I am a creature of habit.  Humph - maybe that is what got me here in the first place.  Any ideas on measures to take control in this situation?  Help! 

Dawn :o)

Confusion and indecision along my way...

Since my last post I have had some ups and downs.  I discovered that my new diet def affects my B12 deficiency (pernicious anemia).  I have started to have to give myself shots weekly instead of bi-monthly.   I couldn't understand my scary lack of energy.  At first I thought it was the tiredness I have seen complaints of, I have been a bit drained but this was something else.  Well when my fingertips went numb my light bulb went on that my B12 was low.  Realized it was early yet I had just had a shot a week and a half before.  So I have bumped up my dosage and that seems to be helping.

I did add veggies in with some hesitation.  After a week of back and forth PP and PV days I was really starting to lose momentum.  I was cranky, miserable and feeling like I was doomed to fail.  Finally on St. Patrick's Day everything came to a boiling point, ending with me having a really bad lunch that day.  Let me tell you it was soooooo good even though it was so bad for me. I said the heck with it and enjoyed it and then hated myself.  That's it I thought - yet another diet I am doomed to fail at.  Two weeks without carbs seemed to be my limit.

I had my pity party, then hubby and I took a nice long walk and had a good talk.  We talked about my diet, my frustration, and after some great suggestions and ideas - I decided I needed to keep going despite my momentary failure.  I had to forgive myself and know there may be occasional lapses.  I did decide tho that I would do so with a few slight changes.  (Or maybe not so slight)  I have decided that although it will slow my loss I am doing veggies daily.  I get too frustrated otherwise, and I know that wont last.  I have also decided to allow one cheat meal a week (not a day - but one meal).  Yes, I understand I am combining parts of phase 2 and 3, and it is probably all wrong but for the moment it seems to be working and most importantly - something I can live with. It feels right to me where I am at now.

Anyway, that evening my Mom (who lives with us) guilted me into eating dinner out.  Really?  Are the fates against me?  Well I am proud to say I had some great plain chicken breast and some greens and veggies and enjoyed it immensely.  I was back on the wagon and and proud of it. That showed me that I could still enjoy eating out - with some slight modifications and still eat healthy and like I want to.

Sunday I had my first experience with ocular migraines, went to the optician Monday who cleared my retina, went to the GP Tuesday and as the pain is not gone; they have decided to send me for an MRI and follow up with Neurologist just to make sure there is nothing goofy going on.  Was going to have the MRI yesterday - but found out our high deductible insurance plan we just got with hubbys new job resets April 1st.  So MRI is now April 4th.  If I'm going to meet my deductible in one shot I may as well get the years benefit from it.  Frustrating but hopefully all is well and there is no concern for the wait.  Seems it's always something. I so wanted to eat everything in the world when they said they wanted me to go in and make sure it wasn't a small stroke.  Ugh!  Victory for me - I stayed true to my diet.

I am missing carbs less and less - and my whole family is eating healthier.  If I'm cooking then they are eating protein and veggies with me.  We have had some amazing weather and we are hoping to get out and hike and geocache this weekend.  Time with hubby and exercise - great combo.  All in all I am doing well and learning as I go.  I am always welcome to suggestions and comments, and want to again thank everyone who has posted thus far.  Take care!

Dawn  ;-)

Veggies Tomorrow - More progress!

Well I had planned to end Attack yesterday, but I was unprepared.  (Got the lazies Sunday night)  Last night I made some awesome smelling veggie soup, and stocked up on the veggies I need.  Decided since we are supposed to go out for breakfast on Sunday that I wanted veggie day to line up with that so I am starting veggies tomorrow.  So tomorrow I am going to have some egg beaters with peppers and onions for breakfast (baking them tonight in muffin tins), some salad and tuna for lunch, and lean burger and cauliflower for dinner.  Mmmm sounds so good right now. 

The delay did not bum me out too much as I am now down 6.2 lbs.  (Happy dance!)  It is so nice to see real progress.  I CAN do this!  Yeah!  Smiles :) xo

Dukan - End of Attack -- No Cheating!

Yesterday was my last day of attack.  I am currently back at 5 lbs lost so I am going to keep pushing on and know that I didn't get this heavy in one day, so it isn't going away in 1 either. 

I am now allowed veggies (on PV days), but a bit nervous about adding them in and seeing another spike.  I am looking forward to the variety tho so that is something.  I had a really rough day with craving carbs yesterday - hubby and I went out to a model train show, and I let myself get hungry.  Super huge mistake!  I managed to avoid getting anything out, but I was really wanting all the bad foods that got me here.  Smelling french fries was the worst, I wanted to tackle the guy eating them and steal them.  Good thing I do have some self control. :-) Hmmm that must be new lol

The worst part of this weekend was my son and his long time girlfriend broke up.  They had been together for four years and he is taking it pretty hard.  I'm really worried about him and how he is handling it.  Added stress is so not a helpful thing for my diet. 

I am super proud to say despite all my temptations I have not cheated.  My friend at work started attack phase yesterday and she is done Weds. So I have a diet buddy which I think will help.  We will even be on the same PP and PV days.  On with the journey!  xo

Day 5 - Dukan Attack = Discouraged!

Well I got up this morning very excited to check my anticipated progress only to find I had backtracked.  Now I am back to a loss of only 3 lbs.  I'm not sure what happened, I have been following everything to the letter - I was even trying to drink extra extra water yesterday.  Maybe it wasn't enough.  Guess I will just keep going and see what tomorrow brings.  For today I am seriously discouraged. 

One minute at a time right now, stressed so avoiding the kitchen so I am not stress eating. In the words of Dory... "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."

Day 4 - Down 5 lbs.

Today is day 4 of Dukan, and I am now down 5 lbs.  I am really glad to see the pounds go, but know I still have such a long journey.  Thoroughly depressed myself last night by having hubby take some before pictures and all my measurements.  This was after buying a new scale that had me over five pounds heavier than our current one - stupid scale lol.  Want to guess what scale I am keeping?   (This was side by side comparison too not a night/day difference) Anyway, the pics and measurements were sure a wake up call!  For now, I am trying not to focus too much on the long road ahead and am taking it one day (sometimes one minute) at a time.  I guess otherwise I may make myself completely insane.

Hubby is being very supportive - as are lots of friends and family.  I KNOW I could not do it without them!   Although I did catch him hiding in the bathroom yesterday eating a candy bar :-) because he knew I can't have one (lucky him doesn't need to diet!) it was sweet and funny all at once. 

I have also been surfing a lot of blogs, and enjoying the wealth of info that is out there.  It is nice to know I am not alone and others have survived this journey.  Finding some great recipes, and learning to have a new relationship with the food I eat.  I have also learned already that when I am stressed I want to eat junk. Stress eater!  Can't believe it took me 42 years to figure this out. Sigh.  Well some lessons are harder than others I guess. 

Will try to get a current pic up and start posting them at regular intervals as changes occur.  Def not the ones I took last night - those are for my nightmare alone.  That's all for now, gotta finish up my work and get ready for the weekend!  Yay Friday!

Day 3 of Dukan

Today is day 3 for me on the Dukan diet and I am now down a total of 4 lbs so far.  Not too bad of a start.  I feel really good.  Not tired and sluggish like I expected.  The gorgeous random 60+ degree day yesterday did help keep my energy up I'm sure.   Hubby and I took a 2.2 mile hike along the canal last night and grabbed a geocache along the way.  It was so nice to be out and about.  It's rainy today so I'm thinking our walk will need to be at the Community Center but at least it is still exercise. 

I made Chicken Cordon Blue Dukan style last night and it came out excellent!  I will definitely make again!  I will post my modified recipe at some point. So far this hasn't seemed like much of a diet which sounds to me like the best kind! 

I have a super long way to go to be where I want to be but I'm thinking it is time to seriously commit to making it happen.  Looking forward to seeing where this journey takes me!